It’s the early days of 2024, which means I’m trying to understand what I want from the new year. This is normally the province of drunken New Year’s resolutions that break down into cliches; lose weight, make money, etcetera.
Most resolutions or goals are grounded in one word, ambition. It’s about striving for a better version of your life.
Ambition to most Americans is about money. Internet hustle culture has endless tips on how to get rich fast and with little effort. In a strange paradox, these same influencers also push a “grind mindset” where you’re just a few 5am wake ups and juice smoothies away from billions. This focus on money comes from some cocktail of the Weberian Protestant work ethic and our independent pioneer spirit. It is not an old world phenomenon.
Power is probably the most universal and ancient form of ambition. Kings and lords saw treasure as a means to an end, to expand their power and control. Power comes from the Latin word potere, which means "to be able." But things with power are much more than able, they can exert force. Power and Influence often become intertwined, and wealth can purchase both. Money, as the cliche goes, isn’t everything.
Frank Underwood, in the Netflix Show House of Cards said it best, “Money is the Mc-mansion in Sarasota that starts falling apart after 10 years. Power is the old stone building that stands for centuries. I cannot respect someone who doesn't see the difference." (Sorry to any Gulf Coast readers). Twenty two year old philosophy students who just finished Nietzche’s Will to Power can parrot an opinion on this over an IPA at their favorite underground bar. You only have to look at the history of the 20th century, however, to see that this can only take you so far.
Then we come into probably the most misunderstood form of ambition, social. This is, to give it an un PC label, the most female form of ambition. Social ambition is the desire to be included, to be loved, and to be respected. Power and wealth play a role but they aren’t everything. Ask yourself, why would you rather be Leonardo Di Caprio or Jeff Bezos. (Maybe it says something about me that I assume you would want to be Leo)
While social ambition can play out modestly as the desire for love and respect from family members and romantic parters, It’s much more intense at higher levels of society. This is a lot of what Jane Austin’s novels are about. Another take is the current HBO Series Gilded Age where we see Mrs. Russell and Mrs. Astor jockey for social position with the same intensity as their robber baron husbands compete for wealth.
It’s hard to set goals without coming to grips with your ambition. Goals are means to get what you want, but sometimes you don’t know what that is. Part of your brain thinks what you really want is wrong in some way.
Now we get back to me, I am sitting in my sweatpants typing, trying to come to some conclusions.
First lets begin with a process of elimination. I’m honestly not that interested in more money. Yes, a Ferrari and an Aspen house would be great, but I get a headache just thinking about making maintenance appointments and redoing the deck after a hard winter. I really do think there’s diminishing value to returns with money.
Then we get to power. I don’t really want to have power over anyone. I believe the best way to lead is with persuasion not force and to be honest I’m a soft touch. My maid just got an extra ten bucks a week out of me without much of a fight. When I go on a group motorcycle ride I prefer to be at the rear, helping stragglers rather than setting the pace. The idea of being a CEO with lots of people to boss around sounds more like a nightmare than a dream.
So now we get to social ambition. This is probably what’s most appealing to me personally. I like having friends, I like being accepted, and I like feeling cool. Maybe this comes from feeling like an outsider my entire life, never really fitting in. There’s no denying that sitting alone at the school cafeteria leaves a mark. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this but I can see the toxic aspects. It can quickly devolve into toadyism and codependency.
Maybe I’m thinking about it all wrong. I feel guilty because I don’t have ambition in the traditional sense, so I’m trying to use this New Year’s resolution thing as a way to force societal norms and expectations upon myself. What am I, what is my authentic self? It does not seem to fit into any of those boxes. Culture tells me that this is bad, but what if it's the only way I can really be? Yes improvement is possible, but I have never bought the idea that we can change our fundamental nature.
To that end, I've been watching a lot of YouTube Videos about Taoism. There’s something very soothing about the concept of Wu Wei, or effortless action. I guess I want to be like water, to flow and let it be what will be. In the end as Lao Tzu said, “nature does not hurry, but everything is accomplished”.
In other words this isn’t the lazy man’s manifesto, just a suggestion that life is better off when you don’t force things. Ambition for me is a fourth path, to be more authentic. It's about mastery of my inner state more than controlling the world around me.
Searching for a role model I have to go back again to history. I’ve been thinking about the life and Essays of Michel de Montaigne, the 16th century French philosopher. He left public life at a relatively young age to putter around his house and write essays. In broad brush strokes he asserted that there is no greater achievement than the ability to accept one's being without either contempt or illusion. He found beauty in the little things.
It seems like a good resolution for 2024 is to go with the flow. This has borne fruit in previous parts of my life. Every great opportunity I’ve had has been an accident. Anything I have worked and worked and strived and strived for has never happened. Traditional life and choices never work, weird stuff usually does.