An electric motorcycle in New York City is a hell of a good time.
My wrist twists and the Cake Kalk& shoots between West Village traffic like an X-wing on a Death Star trench run. I move from the bike lane, to splitting lanes, to a hard right with my foot down motocross style followed by a hard left on West 4th street. Stopping at a traffic light it takes me a minute to get used to the sound of silence, no V-Twin ruble, just an eerie stillness as I wait to shoot off again.
The ten minute test ride becomes thirty minutes. Suddenly every man-bun hipster wants to have a conversation. Delivery guys ask about the specs in broken English, calculating if 1.5 more bagels delivered per hour would make it worth the cost.
I didn’t get the chance to take it off road, but I got the sense that’s where it would really shine. If the Olin front fork can handle New York death potholes, it should survive the trail.
Upon my return to the dealer, the Cake rep didn’t have to say anything, he could see from my face I was smitten with the Swedish brand. He did however walk me through the Kalk&’s specs. The 10kw electric motor is a rough equivalent to a 125cc bike with a fifty mile per hour top speed and a range of two to three hours.
At this point I was rubbing my back pocket about to rip out my Amex like a Wild West gunslinger, then he told me the price, fourteen thousand dollars. I got out of there before I made a decision I’d regret.
At home splashing cold water on my face I have a hard look in the mirror, what is wrong with me?
My entire life I’ve been a motorcycle guy, the more CC’s the better. I laughed with everyone else when Mayor Pete suggested we all go out and buy Tesla’s to deal with gas prices. Caring for a motor, the smell of fuel, and the deep engine rumble are some of my favorite bits of the two wheel experience.
This is also not my own personal green new deal, I didn’t try this bike out with an agenda. To be totally honest I like loud engines specifically because they troll environmentalists.
There’s, however, something intoxicating about electric bikes. You feel like you're flying, propelled by some magic effortless force. The Cake Kalk& puts out a mild hum, supposedly designed by an audio expert to maximize the rider’s experience. These are clearly world class toys that will find a home from Malibu to the Hamptons, Leonardo DiCaprio has probably already ordered his.
When I want something I don’t really need, my general policy is to wait a week or two.
Upon reflection, I realized the real fatal flaw has to do with the law. These bikes cannot go as fast and far as a conventional motorcycle, but require plates and insurance like one. Cake has to conform to overly strict European laws. In the U.S. however, add pedals and you become an electric bicycle free from insurance fees, helmet laws, and speeding tickets.
California maker Onyx is pushing this to the max with their RCR pedal assist e-bike that goes up to sixty miles an hour. They look cool too, more of a 60s cafe racer than a nerdy Segway scooter. Other than the pedals, it takes a big imagination to see this as anything other than a motorcycle. The only thing I like better than speeding on two wheels are legal loopholes on two wheels.
Price is still an issue, but four grand is a lot easier to swallow than fourteen. It’s even American made.
Here we go again! Another toy I don’t really need. Let me get back to you in two weeks to see if I’ve been able to rationalize myself out of this one.