Last Call For Fun on Miami Beach
Proposed 2am closing time threatens the nightlife scene which makes the city unique
What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you think about Miami Beach? The tropical blue ocean? Luxury, from real estate to exotic sports cars, is also part of the narrative. Maybe you think about Art Deco.
But what really makes this place different? In one word: Nightlife
Florida has an embarrassment of riches when it comes to sandy beaches and ocean adjacent condos. But in terms of world class nightlife, Miami is the only real contender. The beating heart of this is Miami’s South Beach. Locals and tourists alike come here to listen to great music, find personal connections, and unwind from an increasingly stressful world.
This vibrant mix of income and ethnic groups gathering for a good time is, however, under threat. In the 2021 election cycle, a group of wet blanket politicians passed a resolution to move last call from 5am to 2am on Miami Beach.
If you’re living in Ohio or Kansas, this might not seem like a big deal, but Miamian’s don’t go out until 2am.
These politicians, led by recently reelected mayor Dan Gelber, say it's about protecting public safety. They tried to pass a similar resolution in 2017 but failed. 2021’s raucous spring break and the tragic shooting death of a twenty one year old father from Colorado gave them a pretext to try again. This time around, it was far easier to scare Mid and North Beach voters into backing the change with this pearl clutching appeal to public safety.
On the surface it made sense. Former mayor and failed gubernatorial candidate Philip Levin thinks the party scene has become a “liability” and “after the horrific murder last month of a father protecting his baby boy at an Ocean Drive cafe, I think we can all agree that God was whispering loudly to us.” They say they want a safer, more family friendly, South Beach.
But don’t let the sanctimonious politicians fool you, this’s more about their pockets than protecting anyone’s safety.
Real Motivations for The Change
If nightlife makes Miami Beach unique, there’s also a phrase that sums of Gelber and Levin’s motivations: Real Estate.
Something’s been bothering Miami luxury developers. They’ve made fortunes building pleasure domes for the uber wealthy from Brickel to Sunny Isles but the most iconic Miami address, Ocean Drive, has resisted. This strip is still home to a crusty yet roguishly charming string of local bars and restaurants serving mid to low income clientele. The Art Deco historic district has not yet succumbed to gentrification, but the wolves are circling.
Let’s not beat around the bush, bars make money from drunks. Party bars, like the ones on Ocean Drive, pay rent from late night revelers having more tequila shots and frozen cocktails than what’s good for them. By cutting back late night hours, essentially you’re cutting off a big chunk of their income.
As the money dries up these establishments, already hurt by Covid, will fold. When they fold, the ecosystem will face a crisis leaving the entire area ripe for developer acquisition. We already see the vision South of 5th, where lux buildings and restaurants like Carbone line Collins.
I live South of Fifth and I enjoy these high end establishments and a slightly more peaceful atmosphere. I might even consider supporting the 2am change, however there’s one glaringly obvious loophole inserted in the proposal. In the new world order, Miami Beach politicians will be able to grant “exceptions” to the 2am closing time.
So the politicians aren’t really against late night partying, they just want to decide who gets to have fun. I try not to be cynical, but I see a future political reality where there’s a quid pro quo arrangement for campaign donations. Donate so you can stay open. Dave Grutman and Ian Shrager don’t have to worry.
From a macro vantage point the vision becomes more clear; luxury redevelopment to increase tax revenue mixed with higher end nightlife serving an older, whiter, and wealthier clientele. If this is the goal, come out and say it, don’t manipulate people with fake “safety concerns”.
Let’s Be Honest, this is not about Safety
Under closer examination the safety narrative totally falls apart. The young father was shot at 6:30pm. A temporary early closing time during COVID just pushed the parties underground, which was a big reason for a lot of last Spring Break’s troubles. Also there’s also little evidence that higher end establishments will be immune from issues. Let’s not forget the shooting last may at Prime 112 Steakhouse South of Fifth which went down before midnight.
Overall Miami Beach is a very safe place to live. Why not increase police presence, focus on drinking age laws, and enforce quality of life violations in problematic areas? This would honestly help everyone have a good time without hurting local business.
What no one is saying is the problem is not what the partiers are doing but who they are. Nationally Democrats are obsessed with inequality and racism. Locally Democrats are quintessential NIMBYs (Not In My Back Yard). Their idealistic self image falls apart with knee jerk reaction to poorer and less white crowds in their own neighborhoods.
One of the things that makes South Beach great is it has a lot of economic, cultural, and racial diversity. People from all walks of life come here to enjoy the town, a big difference from other increasingly secluded and segregated vacation enclaves around the country. Like nightlife, this diversity is what makes South Beach unique.
The Democrats can't ban these people, but they can target establishments which make them feel welcome. Their views are framed in snobbery and cultural elitism. The idea of someone enjoying a treasure chest cocktail over a glass of Sancerre makes liberal’s skin crawl. Democrats want to hand out welfare checks, so long as they are spent nowhere near them.
This is the same cultural shadow banning that, despite all posturing otherwise, keeps institutions from Harvard to Goldman Sachs white and one percent. We cannot have an honest conversation about race and inequality without addressing the (non Republican) elephant in the room, liberal elitism. In the case of Miami Beach, there is also a lot of money at stake. These forces are a gathering storm and are about to hit Ocean Drive.
Take your thumb off the scale
I am not anti development, I am anti government intervention. One of the best things about Miami is that it’s future focused, allowing new development with an open attitude towards change. In New York and San Francisco, NIMBY liberals keep housing prices artificially high and the atmosphere suffocatingly dull. Let the free market work, and the rising tide will lift all boats.
Problems come when the government gets involved. Under the veneer of helping, politicians always put their thumbs on the scale for special interests.
Right now Ocean Drive is thriving, but the government wants to throw water on the party fire for the benefit of its developer allies. To accomplish this they are stoking fears among residents still cowering from last Spring’s sensationalist crime coverage.
This sort of referendum is not a fair way to set policy. Mid-week local elections always have historically low turnout, and it’s hard to make the case that they really reflect the will of the majority of the population. This issue primarily affects a small portion of Miami Beach, it seems odd to give Surfside residents a say. The 2am closing time is a clear case of tyranny by an intransigent minority.
Hotels, like the iconic Clevelander, have been fighting. So far, their challenges to new rules have been held up in court. We will see how this story evolves post referendum. It’s a great reminder that just because something is voted on, does not make it fair. We need to fight for the diversity that makes our community a nice place to live.
The current city leadership also says this will raise our property values, but I don’t know if that’s true. If there’s no nightlife what will differentiate Miami Beach? Why turn our town into a second rate Fort Lauderdale. As a property owner I want to see values go up, but this is not the way to accomplish it. It’s time to question the faulty logic behind these liberal NIMBY policies.
Next election, let’s give the Democrats a one way slingshot rental out of town